I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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