i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
