I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
