god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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