i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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