did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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