Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
