you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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