Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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