I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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