my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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