WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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