Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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