My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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