brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i think my tv is drunk
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
