i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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