i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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