were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
ttyl tear gas
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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