my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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