you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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