I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
cat food counts as protein by the way
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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