you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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