I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
