I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
