Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
