You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
