I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
