It's Friday. Sex?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
