I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
