my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
