We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
