Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
