clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize