Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
