My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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