P.S. I can't hear my feet
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
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