He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
