I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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