after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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