Rock
Scissors
Fuck
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My feet surprised me
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
