when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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