Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
