So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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