He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
