Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
