you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
