it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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