it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
