my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
