I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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